DON’T LET STRESS GET THE BETTER OF YOUR CHILD - Times Of India - Sat, 20 Mar 2010 Stress is the effect of unresolved fears - either real or imagined. In parents of children taking examinations it affects both the children and parents. Is there a way out? Let's look at it from two different angles - theory and practice Theory Let's bust some myths: You didn't fare well, so your child might not fare well. Your child is his own master, and he will get what he deserves irrespective of how well or how badly you or your spouse have done. People will not respect me When was the last time someone came to your aid when you needed it? So, why worry about their opinions? Success in life is dependent on marks Quite the contrary. A child with average marks and a well-rounded extra-curricular activity list will always do better than one who scored high marks, and didn't do too much else. If I help them to do well at this stage, they will benefit for life Are you going to be there for them for the rest of their lives? When does your child grow his own wings? This is only an exam they are going to face, and not a firing squad. Stress can cause much damage to a young mind. Your child's health and mental well-being is far more important than the marks he could score. Practice Your stress will affect your child The more at-ease you are, the more confident he will be that he can do well. A calm mind will understand, store and recall information a lot better than a stressed one. Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses Self esteem plays a key role in memory and consequently in achievement. Ensure that study periods are no longer than half an hour to 45 minutes at a stretch. A short break between study sessions helps memory retention. Encourage revision after every session and then again at the end of the day. This is beneficial to long-term memory retention. Exercise for retention Ask them to explain all the interesting things they have studied. You can map their level of understanding and memory retention. It will be an additional revision for the child. Maintain comfort level Keep meal times convenient to them. The rhythm of the child is more important than your timetable. Keep the mood comfortable at home. Avoid loud TV programmes - particularly the programmes the child likes.This can be extremely distracting. Avoid tension issues at home at all costs. Tension at home will disrupt the study cycle and cause concern for the child. Keep reinforcing your faith in the child's abilities. Faith can move mountains, and this will boost the morale in your child. Whatever you do use positive language. Instead of saying "don't fail" say "do well". Get a few distractions in place for yourself. The best thing you can do for your child is to let him know that you know he will do well. Ian Faria. (The author is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, counselor and consultant who specializes in Organizational and Personal Enhancement). faria@a-pep.com