ARTICLES
Relationships are for life!
2009 is dying and there is nothing we can do to re-wind the clock, or revive the year. In 3 days, the New Year will be upon us. While we make our resolutions, we may focus more on activities, and skill-sets. However, let us not forget that it is our relationships that matter most. In a networked world we cannot make too much progress without working with other people.
The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
What can we do to improve our relationships? Here are a few tips:
1. Nothing lasts forever.
Relationships are like sharks... they die, if they do not constantly move forward. What have we done to move our relationships ahead? Have we made an attempt to connect? The Xmas season is a great time to call friends, neighbours, and family members. It is a joyous season, and a time for renewal. Use this period to mend old relationships that have soured, or just drifted apart.
2. Connect Consciously.
In a wired/wireless world, connecting is so easy. Use Facebook, Twitter, SMS, and Email.... just connect and say “Hello”. We would have a lot less problems, if only we took the time to say “Hi!”.
3. Re-connect without Reason.
Make a “No occasion” or a “No reason” call. Send a mail with an interesting attachment. We do not need to respond. Lets take charge of our connections. Let’s make the first move.
4. Apologize Anyway.
We all get hurt in a situation where there is a mis-understanding. We also take the liberty of assuming that the other person is at fault. Why post-mortem an issue? Why wait for an apology? I like to take responsibility and assume that when anything goes wrong, I am responsible for it. This may seem a little philosophical, but this really liberates me. It gives me power to assume control of every situation. It also helps me learn more and grow in such a way that I do not need to make the same mistake again. All in all, the person who apologizes is the one with the bigger heart. Between you and me.... this is really easy to do once you do it a few times.
5. Praise for Progress.
Congratulate someone for something they have achieved, or something nice that happened to them. Look for a reason to be there for people when they do not even remember you. Let them know that “Out of Sight” is not necessarily “Out of mind.”
6. Pause and Ponder.
Too often we indulge in mindless mind-reading (oxymoron?). Why ASSUME and make an ASS of U and ME? Instead, think “What else could this mean?” While doing so, look for understanding, rather than judgements. Tell your mind to hold on, and gather more information, before trying to arrive at a final verdict.
7. Ask better questions.
In case point 6 requires further clarification, do make an effort to ask deeper, better questions. It is a pleasure to get into people’s minds, and be able to deal with each person as individuals. The trick, is not to assume that other people are like you, but to think that they are different. Because, lets face it... they are. The answers to your questions will help you understand how different people really are.
If you follow the seven points listed above, I can assure you that you will not only have less mis-understandings, but you will also have many more friends.
I wish you all the best for the remainder of this year.... phone... call... SMS... but stay in touch!
Let keep our friends close... and our enemies... let’s convert them to friends... and keep them close too.
Ian Faria. (The author is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, counselor and consultant who specializes in Organizational and Personal Enhancement). faria@a-pep.com
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