At a networking event, how come most move into cliques and are afraid to meet new people? – asked by Tim Tymchyshyn (in Linked in)
Happy New Year, Tim.
Good questions require good answers. Permit me to try.
1. People are social by nature, but become careful (fearful) because of negative experiences. Hence we try to maintain status quo, or at least to stay within our comfort zones.
2. We are taught to communicate, but we are not taught how to CONNECT. This is an artform that we all desire, but do not know where to start. The secret is to fake it, until you can make it. Act friendly, and you will appear so. Think you are a born networker, and you will soon be one.
3. Last but not least, FEAR is an attribute that helps us avoid PAIN. We fear that we will be pained if people reject us, insult us, or are rude/curt with us. So we avoid making the first move to connect. Unfortunately others too have similar inhibitions.
4. All of us are not born to lead nor to network effectively. So many of us will stay on the fringe, secretly admire or envy the forward amongst us, and we develop the habit of waiting to be networked with... while the good, assertive networkers will, as a matter of habit... take away the best, and leave the shy ones fighting for the scraps.
Thanks for another good question... hope this answer has been good enough for you.
Sincerely,
Ian Faria.
Are our beliefs ours or are they merely a reflection of the society we are in? - Asked by Heeral Kothari (in Linked in)
Hi Heeral,
First... we may need to define BELIEF.
According to me ... belief, is merely what I hold to be true. This is what I know deep down inside of me... and I do not need proof of my beliefs. However, just like for eons... man believed the world to be FLAT, and that was the deemed truth... until it was proved to be an oblate spheroid (flattened at the poles). So now ... with the photos... from outer space.. we KNOW that the world is not flat... but round.
I do believe that a collection of beliefs are a reflection of society.. though this is not so in all cases... hence the mix of personal... as differentiated from societal beliefs on a whole. Come from a multi cultural, multi racial country of India... we are probably more tuned to the idea of a multitude of beliefs and customs... but this has of late morphed into a perverse attitude that only our beliefs are true.... but ARE THEY?
It is always good to examine our beliefs... what is "true" at one point of time may not be true... tomorrow. So lets also understand other people... and their beliefs, and constantly uses these benchmarks to check the validity of our own realities... (beliefs or assumptions).
Meanwhile... lets not forget the old Indian way of defining reality... as MAYA... or illusion... so nothing is real... including our beliefs... and all that is real... is our perceptions... and these can change... and DO CHANGE.
Ian.
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