The power of words - Businessgyan - Tue, 01 July 2008 A wise man once said.. the pen is mightier than the sword. Some other wise man took this to a new level, by stating: The tongue is mightier than the pen and the sword, since it can kill, without even drawing blood. The tongue.. mightier than the pen and the sword, is another way of stating that the spoken word is powerful. Communication can make or break relationships; it can mend or end a broken heart. All in all, communication is an art form that has to be developed in a step by step manner. Many relationship problems stem from simple misunderstanding. Education in general and the use of language in particular should have taught us how to communicate effectively. By effective, I mean that it should fulfil its goal - to transmit a thought/idea from the speaker's mind into the listener's, without any distortion. Unfortunately, we often misread the message. Lets take the example of a lady speaking to a man.. Darling would you like to have a juice? You must be tired. Most men would take this literally and respond to the direct meaning behind the words. If he were thirsty, he may say Sure, let's go for a juice. However, if he doesn't want a drink, he may say I am not really feeling thirsty. Let's go home instead. What the lady actually meant to say was that she wanted a glass of juice because she was tired and thirsty. However, since women are collaborators, (as opposed to men, who are competitors) they try to be inclusive, and the last thing that they would like is to appear self-centred. Words, convey different meanings to men, who are literal in their communication. Women, on the other hand speak figuratively, and use a lot of the subtlety in communicating. It is prudent in the corporate world to avoid any misunderstanding, since this could be costly for the communicators involved. While communication is an art that may not be perfected even in a life time, let's look at some ways in which we can help other figure out our message, through the analysis of different rhetorical devices that we could use: Metaphor. This is where we express an idea more effectively, through the use of creativity and imagery. For example. Politics is a game of mud wrestling. In this analogy, we understand that politics is about people fighting dirty, and that they are covered in mud. Here the two pictures - politics and mud wrestling are thought to be one and the same. What is implied is that politics is not a clean profession. Simile. Here the same mud wrestling analogy would be used like this: Politics is like a game of mud wrestling. Politics is not directly equated to mud wrestling, but it is compared to it. The word like, brings in the comparison, implying that the two pictures are being compared side by side. Pun. This is a word that can have a double, or sometimes even multiple meanings. This could be used in a humorous manner, and is a very effective way to communicate, either inter personally, or in a group. For example: My parents are in the iron and steel business. My mother irons, and my father steals. Here the words iron and steel (steal) are the puns. This comes across mainly when it is spoke, as the word steel/steal are pronounced in an identical manner. In print, it would lose its power. Mental Imagery. Describing something very literally, or matter-of-factly, with very little use of any adjectives, makes the communication dull, drab and boring. Instead it would be wise to use a fair amount of adjectives and add emotion. Contrast the following statements: The house is good. The large, four bedroom, Victorian style house was painted light brown, and is capped by olive green sloped roofs. Its white trims and cornices, and white bay windows contrast beautifully, and make it appear like a story book creation. It is located on the top of the hill, and offers a panoramic view of the lush green landscape dotted by beautiful red-roofed villas in the valley below. While the words above narrated the way people describe things/people, it is imperative that people put in the effort to meet and discuss issues, rather than jump to conclusions. We should develop the habit of understanding the message not from our viewpoint, but rather from the other person's perspective. Asking questions, paraphrasing, and pausing are very effective ways for people to keep try and figure out exactly what is being said. Exploring cultural and male/female differences is communicating is an exploratory journey that may take many years to comprehend, but it is worth investing in this important exercise. Life, and communication are to be understood, and enjoyed, and both, may take a lifetime to accomplish. Happy Learning. Happy Living. Ian Faria. (The author is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, counselor and consultant who specializes in Organizational and Personal Enhancement). faria@a-pep.com