Lets shape a POSITIVE WORLD
The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones. William Shakespeare... through Mark Antony (in Julius Caesar)
The evil that Shakespeare refers to is not necessarily limited to the acts of violence or terrorism that the modern world has come to live with, but it includes the smaller aspects of how we hurt people – knowingly or unknowingly.
I remember learning a lesson from someone whom I was quite close to... when he shared with me the fact that every time I cracked a joke at his expense, he laughed externally, but he always wondered why I was so mean to him. Since he didn’t tell me that he was hurt, I assumed he was a good sport, and I continued to pull his leg (in his mind... I continued to hurt him... and hence I was someone perpetrating “evil” deeds).
Lets analyse Shakespeare’s statement in two parts:
1. How the world sees us when we participate in so called “evil” deeds/activities.
2. How we see people who are supposedly doers of “evil” deeds/activities.
How the world sees us when WE mess up.
Generally, when we mess things up, we try to justify the lapse by saying: “I tried my best, and I don’t know what happened.” Or, “Some things do not work... “ There are many more excuses people will try, depending on how creative they are. But what we need to note, is that we expect people to forgive us and to allow us to start with a clean slate.
At the back of our minds, we expect people to be magnanimous and forgiving - when WE mess up.
Can we expect everyone to be generous with us?
Would the people who do not like us give us their understanding, rather than their judgement?
The secret, is to assume that people need not be generous, and therefore we need to make more of an effort to ensure that we DO NOT FAIL... On the rare occasions that we do slip, we should do the right thing by apologizing, or making amends. However, should still choose to be judgmental, we should not feel bad even if they treat us like failures, or as people prone to mess things up. The best way to change that view is by making a better attempt next time, or by getting an expert/mentor to guide us and reduce our risk for failure.
When others mess up, do we look at them with a generous heart, or do we treat them like we are judge and jury?
When others mess up, do we offer the same magnanimity that we would have expected from them, had we messed up? It would surely be fair to expect forgiveness if we are the forgiving types. But just because we are so kind, does that ensure kindness in others. The answer is NO! However, by not doing our bit to make this world a better place, we are not helping the world to become more positive. So, lets try to remember that to ‘Forgive and Forget’ is a two way street, and we should always endeavour to give out what we hope to receive. (But not to EXPECT anything... only accept it as a BONUS, if we do receive what we hope for).
This is a universal principle called reciprocity.
What goes around, does come around. How the world sees us is not in our control. How we see the world, is our choice.
Lets therefore:
1. Look for the good in others, and rate them according to their strengths, not their weaknesses
2. Learn to forgive and forget. Clearing OUR mind is therapeutic for US
3. Allow people to fail, and give them an opportunity to try again. (People who don't make mistakes - are people who don't try something new)
4. Remember that we should be the change we wish to see in the world (a la Mahatma Gandhi)
5. Enjoy being good, because it enhances the inherent goodness within.
Surely....someday... someone will say....
The Good that men do, lives after them... the evil... what’s that????
The Key to Heaven will also open the Gate to Hell. But, the keys to open hearts are Understanding, Forgiveness and Love.
Ian Faria.
(The author is a corporate trainer, motivational speaker, counselor and consultant who specializes in Organizational and Personal Enhancement). faria@a-pep.com
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